Finding A Sub or Dom ?

Finding A Sub or Dom ? It can be frustrating to search, it seems impossible to weed out the vanillas and find the good matches about fellow fetishists. How do you even deal with the frustration?

To inject a bit of optimism, y’know I don’t think this is actually true.

OK, I admit I’ve never really looked for a vanilla partner, so I have no direct comparison, but it seems to me that everyone is ‘fishing in a small pool’. Everyone has requirements in a partner that will restrict their potential ‘pool’, and seeking a submissive IMHO is no more difficult than finding someone with a corresponding taste in music, interest in the same leisure activities, fan of the same team, or whatever else minority interest might be important to you.

Certainly for me, musical compatibility is rarer than sexual/kink compatibility (and nearly as important)

In many ways kinksters have it easier than a lot of other people as there is a very healthy network, both on-line and off, for the shared interest, with many people seeking from both sides of the dynamic (though I do second the advice to go to munches etc real-life and use on-line as a way to contact scene folk in general rather than relying on it to find a potential partner.