Category Archives: BDSM Advice

BDSM Advice

Master and Slave Contract

Consensual “Slavery” Contract

This contract is provided as a secure and binding agreement which defines in specific terms the relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter termed the Master and the slave.  This agreement must be entered voluntarily, but cannot be broken except under the conditions stated herein, after which certain precautions shall be taken to protect those involved. (See section 7.0.0)

NOTE: It should go without saying that a “contract” such as this is not legally binding. Documents such as these are intended only to provide a fantasy environment for extended role-playing. 

1.0.0 Slave’s Role

The slave agrees to submit completely to the Master in all ways. There are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey the directive of the Master without risking punishment, except in situations where the slave’s veto (see section 1.0.1)applies. The slave also agrees that, once entered into the Slavery Contract, their body belongs to their Master, to be used as seen fit, within the guidelines defined herein. All of the slave’s possessions likewise belong to the Master, including all assets, finances, and material goods, to do with as they see fit. The slave agrees to please the Master to the best of their ability, in that they now exist solely for the pleasure of said Master.

1.0.1 Slave’s Veto

The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by the Master, at which time they may rightfully refuse to obey that command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances, or where agreed by both Master and slave:

•a) Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the slave. •b) Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave’s life, (such as losing their job, causing family stress, etc.) •c) Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0) to the slave.

2.0.0 Masters Role

The Master accepts the responsibility of the slave’s body and worldly possessions, to do with as they see fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. The Master agrees to care for the slave, to arrange for the safety and well-being of the slave, as long as She shall own the slave. The Master also accepts the commitment to treat the slave properly, to train the slave, punish the slave, love the slave, and use the slave as She sees fit.

3.0.0 Punishment

The slave agrees to accept any punishment the Master decides to inflict, whether earned or not.

3.0.1 Rules of Punishment

Punishment of the slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect the slave from intentional abuse or permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0). Punishment must not incur permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse:

•a) Blood may not be drawn at any time. Punishment must stop immediately if blood is drawn •b) Burning the body •c) Drastic loss of circulation •d) Causing internal bleeding •e) Loss of consciousness •f) Withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, or sunlight for extended periods of time.

4.0.0 Permanent Bodily Harm

Since the body of the slave now belongs to the Master, it is the Masters responsibility to protect that body from permanent bodily harm. Should the slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment,or in any other slavery related activity, whether by intention or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should the slave so desire. Permanent bodily harm shall be determined as:

•a) Death •b) Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones. •c) Any permanent marks on the skin, including scars, burns, or tattoos, (unless accepted by the slave). •d) Any loss of hair, (unless accepted by the slave). •e) Any piercing of the flesh which leaves a permanent hole, (unless accepted by the slave). •f) Any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.

5.0.0 Others

The slave may not seek any other Master or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the Masters permission. To do so will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. The Master may accept other slaves or lovers. The Master may give the slave to another Mistress/Master, provided the rules of this contract are upheld. In such a situation, the Master will inform the new Mistress/Master of the provisions stated herein, and any breach by the new Mistress/Master will be considered a breach by the Master as well, subject to all rules stated in this contract.

6.0.0 Secrecy

All physical evidence of the slavery will be kept in total secrecy, except where both master and slave agree. Any violation of this clause shall be cause to terminate this contract, should the injured party wish it. The materials and physical evidence shall be kept under lock and key in a place acceptable to both parties.

7.0.0 Alteration of Contract

This contract may not be altered, except when both Master and slave agree. If the contract is altered, every and any alteration must be clearly signed and dated.

8.0.0 Termination of Contract

This contract may be terminated at any time by the Master, but never by the slave, except under special conditions explained within this contract. Upon termination, all physical evidence of the slavery, including this contract, will be destroyed, and all materials and belongings shall belong to the Master, to be shared or kept as She sees fit. The slave, owning nothing and having agreed to give up all worldly possessions and body to the Master, shall once again own their body, but nothing else, unless the Master decides to give back their possessions.

9.0.0 Slave’s Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree and accept Her claim of ownership over my physical body. I understand that I will be commanded, trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of my Master to the best of my abilities. I understand that I cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated in this contract.

Signature:____________

10.0.0 Masters Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property, body and possessions, and to care for them to the best of my ability. I shall provide for their security and well-being and command them, train them, and punish them as a slave. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to the slave as long as they are Mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.

Signature:____________

BDSM Advice

Nipple Clamps Special

Nipple Clamps – Why nipple clamps?
The breasts are generally a (sexually) sensitive area. Not only in women but also in men, can by touching, caressing etc breast issued a pleasant stimulus. No more can here within the BDSM use are made by touching or fondling expand to squeeze, this can be done with fingers, but also various ready shelves are in place to apply the pressure of squeezing in a constant manner.
As simple as pressure is exerted by the fingers, a clamp can be in the form of these pressures. The most simple manner of a clamp used is the placing of a clothes peg on the areola of a submissive person. By letting it sit a little longer, where we are actually good to keep an eye on how the person reacts, you can slowly remove the skin clothespin. You will get the thrill twice, the first time in the award, the second time when picking the clip. It is precisely the moment of pick-up is often the most intense, the sensitivity of the skin is still quite long after removal present. This can make the Dominant on its way of use, and the use thereof to stimulate the sensation submissive.

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Photo examples of nipples clamps from Shadow Slaves – Exclusive BDSM Movies

Different nipple clamps?

There are different types of clamps for sale. We will discuss some.

The lasso rope
So you have for the novice or highly sensitive nipple, the cords. This is done using a lasso loop around the nipples and the lasso is tightened. A simple way to take the first steps into the real terminals. The nipple is thus tied and this obviously requires a lot of attention. The advantage of these terminals is that they can be worn for a long time, and that the submissive there is relatively little affected by has when worn. So can be worn well below the normal clothing, for example a dinner

Photo examples of nipples clamps from Shadow Slaves – Exclusive BDSM Movies

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The soft clamps
The terminals for the beginners there are multidrug shapes and sizes. If the Dominant wants to go beyond the lasso rope and really wants to put a clamp, the soft clips are a good option. The clamps have a fixed amount of pressure, depending on the thickness of the nipple, but it is well distributed with plastic caps over the nipple.

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The Japanese / American Clover Clamps
These Clover Clamps are for the BDSM who can take some more pain. Due to the bayonet-closure, the terminals are fairly tightly attracted on the nipple. The rubber feet keep the clamps are still in place and it is therefore fairly easy to hang weights here to make even bigger thrill

The toothed clamps
These clamps are the masochists ideal. Because of the small teeth into the terminals, the pain is more severe than with a normal clamp.
With the adjusting screw can be determined how hard to squeeze the teeth in the nipple, nipple size so that each can get the right pressure.
It can also be increased pressure during operation, so that the submissive continues to experience the thrill. At these clamps should be careful that there is no pinching arises due to the high pressure of the clamps.

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The piercing clamps
it is often difficult for submissive with nipple piercings to find the proper clamps because the piercing is in the way. Of course, the piercing should be completely healed and free of any irritation whatsoever to be there but can think to do anything with nipples. The illustrated clamps give the peircing left just enough space to put the clip behind it, so it does not directly press the piercing. This may be handled in a safe manner with the clamps and piercings.

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Photo examples of nipples clamps from Shadow Slaves – Exclusive BDSM Movies

The zipper

A kind we do not want to remember. The most feared and cursed way of clamping the zipper. What does a zipper do? A zipper is a row of clothespins on the submissive put, beautiful together. This may be in the chest, but also to any other body part where you normally a clip sequence could lose. For the pincers can be put on the body must be installed on both side of each clip to create a knot so that the position of the clip on the rope is certain. Would not you do that, the pincers contracted by subtracting should be which leads to their displacement in the wrong skin. An uncontrollable situation is then the result. After the clips have been sitting for some time, both uitienden of the rope will be securely taken in the hand. With a firm tug the pegs are then deducted reasonable pace for one of the first body. Tip: Make sure the submissive person well firmly fixed, she would still be able to even make strange movements at the first clips. This may result in that the rest of the pincers uncontrolled be subtracted from the body, and that is anything but desirable.

BDSM BDSM Advice

World Of BDSM

When was the last time you clicked on these dirty Internet sites and had your vicarious thrills by seeing women and men wearing nothing apart from harnesses, doing things to one another that may give any regular pervert a chill down his or her backbone. Chances are you’ll elevate your eyebrows in disgust, however in coronary heart of hearts you do generally get tempted to check out issues for your self. And it isn’t solely you lusty lads and soiled outdated males on the market, additionally it is the oh-so-propah respectable girls, who pine for such titillation.

Okay, so that you insist that you simply’re not one among them and swear that you just don’t even consider indulging in such filthy deeds. Properly, no offense meant. However frankly, don’t you assume it’s time to let go of your prudery about “this sick stuff individuals do with whips and whipped lotions and stuff” and infuse some pleasure into your love life gone limp. Learn on and provides a lift, if to not your intercourse life, then to your data, about this weird type of leisure.

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BDSM Photography examples of sexy blonde Carly Rae in interracial fetish games, bondage and whipping with her black dom at Shadow Slaves – Exclusive BDSM Movies featured in full length high definition videos.

BDSM outlined

So what’s BDSM? Merely acknowledged it’s an acronym for Bondage and Self-discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadomasochism. It’s possible you’ll be stunned to know that these so referred to as perversions come fairly naturally to most, since some individuals naturally crave to be submissive and a few dominant. Should you simply check out your personal intercourse lives, you’ll be shocked to seek out that you just’ve already tried out some components of BDSM with out even being conscious of it. Keep in mind, the way you shuddered and ended up in a heap, when your accomplice blindfolded you and traced the contours of your physique with a feather or an ice dice? Welcome to the warped and bizarre world of BDSM.

A lot of it’s possible you’ll be relating BDSM solely to hardcore sadism or masochism, however the reality is that it can be remarkably delicate, extremely erotic and psychologically charged. It could not even contain intercourse or sexual rigidity! It’s extra of an influence sport, the place one particular person agrees to submit to a different to behave out a fantasy. It’s pushed extra by the wants of the submissive than by these of the dominant. And, on this recreation, the roles of the dominants and submissives are additionally not mounted and could be interchanged. Chances are you’ll be shocked to know that male submissives really outnumber the feminine ones! Discuss position reversal!

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BDSM isn’t abuse

However, earlier than you got down to discover the realm of this ache-giving pleasure (or is it pleasure-giving ache?), it’s essential to know, on the very outset, that BDSM isn’t abuse. An abuser has no regard for the emotions, wants or limits of the sufferer, whereas in BDSM every companion is a keen one and has a say in no matter is completed to her or him. Additionally, the sufferer of abuse is just not at liberty to dictate the abusers actions or set limits to it, whereas BDSM caters to the wants and needs of these being dominated. For instance, flogging isn’t what you think about it’d be like. For probably the most half, it’s extra stimulating than painful.

Select your personal fantasy

The great half about BDSM is that it’s solely restricted by your creativeness. There are numerous methods in which you’ll take pleasure in inflicting ache on others or struggling pleasant discomfiture your self. For those who suppose that inflicting or struggling ache isn’t your thought of enjoyment, assume once more. Bear in mind these agonizing deep physique massages, the place you all however cry and tears of pleasure roll down your cheeks in painful reduction? You don’t stop and ultimately it proves so gratifying that you just proceed to come back again for extra. Similar is the case with BDSM, which will get you a lot sexually aroused that this type of stimulation turns into enjoyable and retains you begging for extra.

BDSM encompasses many wildly completely different practices and a few actually curious beliefs. However basically, it provides you a chance to problem your boundaries and check your limits. Within the strictest sense, BDSM entails position-enjoying, the place you might be dominant and your accomplice submissive or vice versa. This lets you act out eventualities which can be extremely charged, psychologically and completely gratifying, bodily. Nevertheless, there’re just a few who don’t go for the dominant or submissive roles, as they don’t get turned on by being tied up or by bossing their companions, or such different stuff. However they nonetheless get pleasure from their very own model of BDSM fantasies. So, the vital factor to know is that there’s nothing often known as correct BDSM. It’s what you take pleasure in.

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Security first and at all times

There’s no denying the truth that BDSM entails a managed consensual minor abuse of the physique, so it’s all the time higher to be protected than sorry. To cross the restrict within the throes of ecstasy won’t solely result in accidents, it might additionally dampen your associate’s curiosity. So, you need to comply with a couple of security ideas earlier than you queer the pitch on your companion. In spite of everything, you do need her or him to return again for extra, don’t you?

Give a touch of your meant motion: Springing a shock will be enjoyable and should add to the pleasure of each, however you do not wish to shock your companion with one thing that she or he might hate. Though, you needn’t essentially give away your precise plans, it’s at all times secure to throw in a touch of what’s coming and the way.

Gradual and regular wins the race: There’s a necessity to think about your each transfer intentionally for realizing your fantasy. And it requires preparation, each psychological and bodily. Don’t be hasty in issues you have not tried but. It requires a while to grasp the methods and to start out having fun with them. For instance, don’t instantly bounce into the mattress along with your associate simply after studying this text!

Agree upon a ‘cease’ phrase: “Please cease. No. Cease. Puleez. God, no. Oooh!…” Don’t you simply get turned on by your companion’s whimpering and pleading for mercy? That’s why the phrase cease and no doesn’t qualify for stopping the act, when your associate really needs you to. For you wouldn’t know if she or he truly means it! So, it’s a secure wager to agree upon a phrase or some motion (keep in mind, your associate could also be gagged) that the submissive can use, when she or he doesn’t need you to go forward with what you’re doing. Sufficient is usually a ok phrase and thumping the mattress or the ground with arms or toes is usually a handy indication to cease the proceedings, very like what the wrestlers do.

Contingency planning: Simply think about, you excitedly choose up a pair of handcuffs out of your field of naughty toys and slip them in your associate’s wrists. As you set about what you are promoting, you out of the blue notice, “Heck! The place’re the keys?” and, at that very second, somebody knocks on the door! To keep away from such awkward conditions, all the time have some essential stuff useful, like a pair of scissors, a knife or a blade to chop ropes or bandages. They need to be protected sufficient to make use of in a rush, when you’re required to launch your associate shortly. And don’t overlook to find the keys first, earlier than you utilize these handcuffs!

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See more BDSM at: ShadowSlaves.com Exclusive Bondage Films

Video games dominants and submissives play

Now allow us to come all the way down to the brass tacks. What do you really do? Out of just about limitless prospects, there’re some actually thrilling ones that you may safely introduce into your intercourse life. These love video games can work for each, whether or not you’re male dominant and feminine submissive or the opposite approach spherical. Allow us to see them one after the other and study what they’ve to supply:

The arousing ice: Ice stays an all time favourite that has even been utilized by lesser mortals practising regular intercourse! This nice all-goal intercourse toy and can be utilized in a lot of methods. One time-examined methodology is to run an ice dice over your accomplice’s physique, ideally if she or he is blindfolded and certain. One other means is to position it in your mouth and run your lips and tongue over your accomplice’s physique. For a extra imaginative play, make an ice dildo within the fridge and revel in vaginal or anal play. Ice cream moulds could come in useful right here!

The bewitching brush: Nicely, do you know that a brush can be utilized successfully to make your companion come? All that you must do is to blindfold and tie her or him up. Now, first taking the delicate shaving or portray brush, start by stroking the breasts, nipples, thighs and the edges of your associate, alternating it with a stiff toothbrush. This therapy is sufficient to get your associate moaning for extra. Undoubtedly the one subject of artwork the place the canvas is extra fascinating than the portray!

The fascinating clothespin: Do you know that clothespins have makes use of apart from for hanging garments out to dry? These little biters can work wonders if clamped on essentially the most attention-grabbing websites of the physique. Clamp them on the nipples, anyplace alongside the breasts, the perimeters, arms, legs and thighs and, sure, there too. These are certain to let a shiver of sexual pleasure run by the physique! When you’ve clamped the clothespin, don’t be in a rush to take away them out of your associate’s physique. The longer they keep on, the extra intense would be the sensation, after they lastly come off! After you and your accomplice have began having fun with the ache, you’re able to graduate to the following step. This entails stringing collectively various clothespins by way of a thread and clamping them alongside your companions’ stomach, breast or nipple. As soon as in place, all you could do is to seek out the best time to tug them off sharply, one after the opposite, to his or her ecstatic delight. For extra intense sensation, use small, plastic clothespins which have a sharper grip, than the bigger wood ones. So, the following time you discover your neighbors on the grocery store insisting on such clothespins, you’d know what they’re as much as!

The thrilling knives: No, we’re not recommending reducing down your companion to measurement. However, blunt butter knives could make psychologically highly effective and interesting intercourse toys. It entails blindfolding and tying up the accomplice and slowly, very slowly, drawing the knife-edge over the again, chest, thighs and legs. Freshmen must take care not to attract it too laborious over the pores and skin. This sport shouldn’t be as dangerous because it sounds and it provides such an emotionally intense impact and erotically charged sensation that your accomplice will crave for extra. For doubling the impact of the knife, preserve it within the freezer earlier than use. It would really feel a lot sharper and your companion might consider that you’re really carving her or him up with the knife.

The incredible flogger: A flogger is a multi-tailed whip and, regardless of its intimidating look, is just not painful in any respect, supplied, in fact, you don’t go for a budget ones accessible in lots of intercourse outlets. The proper one ought to’ve gentle lashes and never thick and stiff ones and its edges needs to be rounded, like a deerskin flogger that doesn’t damage in any respect. Such a flogger may even not trigger any harm. Bear in mind, for those who go for flogging and even paddling or spanking your companion, watch out the place you hit. The protected physique websites are the butt, thighs or the higher again. To the skilled, even breasts are permitted. Nevertheless, by no means hit the decrease again, as there’s a danger of kidney injury. Additionally spare the face and the neck.

The attractive bondage and restraint: So, that is the half that the majority of you ogle at on these kinky web sites. This type of domination, the place you tie up your companion, could also be fairly stimulating for each. Nonetheless, it’s vital to pick out what you tie up your companion with. Silk scarves or nylon stockings could seem delicate, however are a strict no-no as a result of they get tightened and will hinder or cease the circulation. Their knots, too, grow to be tough to undo. Good old style rope is definitely far safer. When tying up your associate, don’t get her or him in a variety-eagle place, since it may grow to be uncomfortable or painful in a short time. It’s best to tie up the submissive’s arms to the aspect or to the waist, since such a place will be maintained for for much longer. Whereas choosing handcuffs, go for these that may be double locked. Such handcuffs will not tighten up, even if you happen to press or sit on them or battle towards them. Whereas indulging on this sport all the time be alert for tingling, numbness or coldness. These signs point out that a nerve is being pressed or the circulation is being affected. In such circumstances, all it’s essential do is to loosen up the restraints, until the signs fade.

These video games usually are not even the tip of the iceberg of what all encompasses BDSM. Suffice to say that these video games are restricted solely by your creativeness. That’s why it’s vital to change notes and study from one another!

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The ultimate phrase

You probably have reached this far with out hitting the again button, you’re recreation for experiencing the deliciously erotic and thoughts-blowing sensations that devilishly borders on taboo. BDSM does extra than simply present sexual gratification. It makes you conscious of your personal psychological limits if you inflict ache in your companion and your personal bodily limits if you endure ache perpetrated by her or him.

Nevertheless, as with different issues, will probably be smart to undertake BDSM provided that you are feeling snug with it each mentally and bodily. When you discover that your strict upbringing shouldn’t be permitting you to be comfy with these kinky acrobatics, by all means stroll away. If you end up bodily unable to endure the torment, superb, you don’t must put your well being on line. However when you’re the adventurous kind, BDSM ensures so as to add such nice selection to your love life that you’ll by no means grievance of not getting sufficient!

See more BDSM at: ShadowSlaves.com Exclusive Bondage Films
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BDSM BDSM Advice Pain & Torture

Alternative BDSM Lifestyle Submissives

Are you curious about a BDSM different life-style? In that case, many individuals might imagine that you’re a bit different; and there’s nothing flawed with this. When it comes all the way down to it, a BDSM alternative way of life is one thing that lots of people get entangled with. Even in case you are undecided of what that is all about, there are many methods that you could be taught.

Typically talking, the BDSM different way of life isn’t what it looks like on the floor. It is a legitimate way of life, and for many individuals, that is how they select to dwell their life. If you’re desirous about shifting on this path, you could need to be taught extra about what’s concerned earlier than you truly transfer ahead.

Sensory Deprivation of Alternative BDSM Lifestyle Submissive photos by ThePainFiles.com

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Alternative BDSM Lifestyle

Sensory Deprivation of Alternative BDSM Lifestyle Submissive. Do you know that abuse is just not widespread with one of these life-style? This is without doubt one of the most typical misconceptions a couple of BDSM different way of life, and one which needs to be dispelled sooner fairly than later. All in all, a BDSM various life-style has nothing to do with abuse, and usually if this occurs, it’s nothing greater than a unprecedented prevalence.

There may be a whole lot of data on-line for anyone who’s concerned with a BDSM various life-style. Not solely is that this nice data in case you are already residing this manner, however the identical factor holds true if you’re fascinated by getting concerned. Make it possible for if you end up studying a couple of BDSM various way of life that you simply solely absorb the information. In spite of everything, you do not need to imagine the numerous myths which are on the market.

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Total, a BDSM various way of life just isn’t as unhealthy as many individuals make it out to be. There may be normally no abuse, and people who find themselves on this life achieve this with out being pressured into it. In case you assume that a BDSM different way of life is best for you, check out among the info that’s obtainable on-line.

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BDSM Advice

Finding a BDSM Partner

Normal people. The vanilla ones. They walk into bars, go into discoteques. They hang out in cafes and they simply mingle where others go. Hell, some even go online to dating sites these days. Either way. These vanilla people have it easy we might think. Looking for a partner means looking anywhere and at anyone at the preferred age and sex.

It can be a little bit different for those into BDSM.

How do you actually find a BDSM partner? You can not exactly go up to the bar and ask the guy there if he wants to tie you up, whip you and have some insanely rough sex. Well you could. But he might fall down from the bar stool. You cant exactly put a notice in the local newspaper classifieds either or gently hint at your perversions over dinner on a blind date.

Digggin Out A BDSM Partner

So, what does a submissive or dominant person do to find a partner?

First of all you can of course chance it. That is to say – find the partner first and see if you can steer them towards your desires or awaken the inner sadist in that lovely guy you picked up at the late night dance. It does actually work sometimes, but of course the odds are relatively slim of succes.

Further, if you live in or near a larger city there is a good chance fellow kinksters meet somehow, somewhere nearby. One of the easiest introductions to your local BDSM scene is through attending a BDSM munch. These are generally held in bars and feature no actual sadomasochistic play of any sort. A BDSM munch is simply a calm little chatty gathering, a gentle introduction to people on the scene.

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BDSM Clubs and Play Parties

Beyond the BDSM munches you might be lucky enough to find BDSM societies or groups near you. These tend to be little different from you local bridge club, well except they have probably replaced the card tables with spanking rooms and bondage swings! Oftentimes you can attend an intro night at the local BDSM society, meet the members and get accepted as a member yourself. Such a membership gives you access to the fetish clubs activities, a social circle of perverts and a place for BDSM playtimes if you lack such.

Further, many places sport fetish parties, BDSM clubs or kinky nights. These can be stand alone kinky things in dedicated BDSM facilities or for instance a monthly sadomaso party at the local swingers club. Either way, these tend to be BDSM play parties – but fear not, nobody anywhere would or should force you into playing if you do not wish to. There tends to be a high level of respect and people not respecting the rules of the game gets a quick boot in the ass.

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A BDSM Partner Online

In the good old days there might be a kinky magazine coming quarterly that took personals and classifieds. However, the internet has certainly made things a lot easier. You can find an endless number of BDSM dating websites catering to those searching a soulmate, dom or sub, play partner or whatever else.

A word of caution: Remember that the 18-old super masochist Olivia with the great tits and a love for bald 50-yo men might indeed herself be rather old and weird. Setting up fake profiles plagues largely every dating site out there and the kinky ones are no exception sadly. Further, if you meet a real person on these dating sites that you think might suit you – take it slow and use just a bit of caution. Have some nice long chats online, maybe get on Skype video chat, maybe start out with simply a coffee at a cafe or another public place.

All simply to weed out those who are weird in a less than acceptable way. By no means meant to discourage you. Simply use common sense and caution.

Which sites do we recommend for online BDSM dating ? Well first, the same problems, cautions and opportunities apply everywhere. We can recommend you the kinky dating site Alt.com – but simply because it is dedicated to sadomasochists and have tons of perverted people from around the world ready for playing, meeting or dating. But you still have to weed out the fakes, the nutters and the plain annoying!

Good luck out there!

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BDSM Advice Pain & Torture

Erotic Torture FAQ

This is an old treasure that sadly disappeared from the web. Several people asked where itd gone, but luckily someone had it saved – so we can make it available until it might come back one day in its original place.

How can you justify torture?

        Generally I don’t. Like most of the BDSM subculture I totally support organisations such as Amnesty International . Responsible BDSM activities follow a creed summed up as “safe, sane and consensual”. “Safe” and “sane” may be relative but “consensual” is an absolute. Most players set and keep to agreed limits, and scenes are for mutual enjoyment.

But surely, anyone who enjoys pain must be sick?

      From time to time, yes I am sick, but currently it’s a post-viral condition. I like to think of myself as a responsible, socially-concerned member of society. Is someone sick if they enjoy a caress? Or a light slap on the bottom? Or a harder slap? Some enjoy stronger stimulation. Where is there a logical distinction? The “safe” and “sane” aspects of the creed dictate that such games will not endanger anyone’s physical or mental health or lead to the “victim” requiring serious medical attention. Most players enjoy the ritual of such games and the actual pain involved is often relatively small. By and large, the bloody whippings of historical dramas on the television are not repeated in peoples’ home “dungeons”. This is a common misconception amongst those who worry about people enjoying such activities.

Come on, you’re all just using SM as an excuse for wife-battering.

      So by implication, husband-battering is OK is it? It’s funny how some of the same groups who scream about “sexism” are incredibly sexist themselves.
      But the BDSM community is just as concerned about domestic abuse, of any description, as is the “vanilla” (non-BDSM-oriented) community. Yes, abuse can creep into BDSM activities and it is important to be aware of this. A useful guide to recognition of such abuse is given in the soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm FAQ, see link below. Remember, “consensual”.

Well you’re still perverts

      That’s about as logical as saying a carrot must be a potato. Enjoyment of BDSM activities and the tragic cases of sexual attraction to children are completely unconnected and quite different manifestations of sexuality.
      Once again, we come back to the word “consensual”; a child is not mature enough to consent, just as is the case with conventional sex, so involvement of children in any way is just as repugnant to the BDSM community as it is to the straight community.

I don’t understand how anyone can enjoy sadomasochism and I think it should be banned.

    It’s probably an instinctive part of the human psyche that what people do not understand they fear. Maybe this was a survival trait in the past. But now we just see the arrogance of people who assume their own tastes must be “correct”, and people who rely on prejudice rather than knowledge or logic. Sadly, such people often feel impelled to seek power over their fellow human beings and become local or national politicians.

God says you are sinners and that you will rot in Hell. Now what do you say?

    You are entitled to your own religious views. Personally I am not concerned whether you worship a concept of an all-powerful but nebulous deity, or, for that matter, a small pink stone. What you are not entitled to do is to enforce your religious views on others (or to claim that your religion gives you the monopoly on morality).

The thought of someone tying me up and doing, um, “terrible” things to me is sort of exciting. But what if it is more than I can take?
In responsible BDSM play this should not happen. Firstly, you must be sure you can trust someone before placing yourself in any such vulnerable position. Then you should use safewords. Choose a word that you are not likely to utter during any mock pleas for mercy, and which you can be sure to remember, then use it if you need the action to stop. The “top” (the person who has tied you up or who is nominally in control — you are the “bottom”) must obey your safeword instantly.

Some like to use the green-red-yellow system, where “Green” means “keep going” or “more please”, “Yellow” means “don’t stop, but ease up a bit just now” and “red” means “Absolutely Stop Now!”.

A gagged bottom cannot use a safeword of course, so a clear sound or gesture should be used instead. Sometimes the bottom may be told to hold a small rubber ball. If he/she drops it, that is a signal for the action to stop, at least until it has been established the ball was not dropped by accident. 🙂

Bottoms may feel that a safeword system ruins their enjoyment of helplessness, so players experienced with each other may choose not to use safewords. That is OK, but it makes prior negotiation and the sensitivity of the top even more important, and a signal for unexpected emergencies, e.g. asthmatic attacks, is still advisable.

Tops must also be aware that it occasionally happens that a bottom enters a euphoric or other mental state that hinders their using a safeword. Responsible BDSM play takes all these matters into account.

It will be seen that negotiation is vital. If someone, top or bottom, will not negotiate, can you trust them??

Is bondage safe?

      Generally yes (despite the next section), but like most other physical activities, safety depends on common sense, assessing risks and taking reasonable precautions. We do this the whole time in our daily lives, usually without conscious thought. We are constantly adjusting our bodies to enable ourselves to breath easily, to avoid cramps or numbness from uncomfortable positions, to avoid life’s simple dangers.
      But if someone is immobile, then suddenly those unnoticed adjustments become difficult and maybe vitally important. This means the top has two bodies to look after for the time being. He/she is equally responsible for both.

So what precautions should I take?

      A comprehensive answer to that is well beyond this FAQ. See the links below. However, a few random matters and thoughts to bear in mind:
      1. Know your play partner
        The world of vanilla sex has its rapists. Date-rapists may seem charming and innocuous right up until the moment they prove they are not. Similarly, if you are male, tied down to the bed, and that seemingly nice lady from Accounts has just removed from her handbag a copy of the “Bobbitt guide to body modification” and a sharp knife, then maybe you are going to find that you should have got to know her a bit better first.
      2. If someone is tied up, do not leave then unattended
        Sigh. I have to put this in – it’s compulsory. I have not traced when it happened yet, but this was clearly brought down from a mountain, carved on a stone tablet. If anyone doubts this, let them post to one of the BDSM newsgroups or mailing lists that they tied down their partner and then popped down to the shops to buy a new candle (or even just went into the next room). There will be a flood of angry responses from people in absolute apoplexy because someone has broken “the” rules.
        But actually, it is a pretty sensible precaution. Ropes can slip or tighten, cutting off circulation, causing nerve damage or even breathing difficulty. The bottom could have a sudden medical problem. Gags of any sort can be especially risky. Some positions themselves may cause breathing difficulties after a while (see below).
        “Safe and sane” means evaluating risks. Once the actual statistical likelihood of the top being hit by a runaway lorry while buying the candle, or of the house suddenly burning down, have been considered, once any known medical conditions (of the bottom or top) have been taken into account, once any risks from the bondage itself have been considered, then the play partners can make an informed decision. But it is still not a good idea. There again, climbing rock faces is an even worse idea, but people do it because they enjoy it and know the risks and nobody screams at rock-climbers. Much.
      3. Be careful with gags
        The damsel in distress (only acting of course) screams so prettily. Her evil captor removes her lace panties, bunches them up and pushes them into her mouth. He takes a scarf and ties it round through her mouth (a cleave gag) to hold the panties in place. He may tie another scarf around too. No longer can she communicate. She rolls her eyes so fetchingly, continuing to play the damsel in distress.
        But she is in distress; the material is working to the back of her mouth. They never agreed a gesture to act as a safeword. Anytime now, her airway is going to be blocked, or a reflex vomiting action is going to be induced. Is her captor going to notice in time? When she gets vomit in her lungs, will he get her to medical attention quickly enough? Is he about to find that the way he will spend his next few years is going to be radically altered?
        Or to take a tragically genuine example:
        Not too long ago, men broke into a house in London. A large woman was grabbed and handcuffed (or tied up?) while the rest of the house was searched. She was gagged with sticky tape, completely sealing her mouth. So she was lying helpless on the floor, highly stressed and she could not get enough air through her nose. She died. On the face of it, it was a case of murder. However, the men were immigration officials, the woman was an illegal immigrant and the men were held to have been doing their job.
        However, if you are not an immigration official and therefore do not have the authority to place people in non-consensual, dangerous bondage, take care with gags. They have a symbolic (often rather more than functional) importance in BDSM games, but beware of loose material in the mouth, or of completely sealing the mouth, and ensure that they can be removed very quickly.
      4. Don’t tie anything around the neck
        Dead obvious this, but people do it. Some are into asphyxiation games. We know this; there is enough evidence from coroners’ reports. And the police are apt to regard a corpse with rope or rope marks around the neck as “suspicious”.
        Even if people don’t die, reducing the oxygen supply to the brain is dangerous and potentially damaging. If it is desired to immobilise the head, use a head harness.
        (OK, I will admit that there are careful and responsible people into breath-control and who DO know what they are doing, but this FAQ is not for them anyway. For the inexperienced and the foolhardy, this is the way to tragedy. Trial and error does not apply here.)
      5. Be careful with handcuffs
        Thanks to the punk era and their use as fashion accessories, handcuffs are widely available and much used for bondage games, even by couples with no other interest in BDSM. But keys can be lost, and locks of cheap handcuffs can jam, and there are many newspaper stories of nearly nude ladies blushing (all over) while delighted firemen cut them free.
        But handcuffs were designed for the temporary immobilisation of a prisoner’s wrists. They are rigid, ill fitting and can dig into the wrists to damage nerves and bones.Never, ever, use handcuffs to suspend someone by the wrists. Well fitting, padded, leather cuffs are far better for BDSM games. And make sure they do fit well; even the edge of a loose leather cuff can dig in to cause temporary nerve damage.
      6. Provide adequate support
        I don’t mean counselling. Time and time again I see tales (hopefully fantasy) something like the following:
        The woman is standing in the centre of the room. She is nude, with her wrists cuffed behind her. Her nipple rings are tied to a rope leading up to a pully. Her captor tightens the rope, forcing the woman up onto her toes. Now the whipping can begin ….
        or
        The man is standing in the centre of the room. He is nude, with his wrists cuffed behind him. A rope has been tied round his testicles and up to a hook in the ceiling. His captor tells him she will be back in two or three hours or so ….
        So the woman looses her balance, or the man happens to faint with fatigue. There is no backup safety harness. Hospital time.
        Once again, this is part of risk assessment and common sense. For any bondage position, just imagine the captive losing balance or fainting (however unlikely this is). What will happen? Is his/her body supported against injury?
      7. Not everyone has the same physique
        Some people are incredibly supple. They can be tied into contorted positions without harm. Don’t assume that everyone else is the same. Some can can be tied with their elbows actually touching behind their backs, but for most of us this is liable to cause real damage. Even quite standard positions can be difficult for people who have, for example, weak shoulders or weak ankles. Here again is the importance of communication and safewords. Good physical fitness is an advantage.
      8. Watch that breathing
        Be aware that some positions put pressure or tension on the chest, innocuous at first, but making breathing more difficult as the subject tires. “Standard” bondage positions that pose this risk include the hogtie, with the subject lying on his/her front, and suspension with the arms apart. (Note that any extended suspension can cause joint damage in any case). Here is as good a reason as any for following the “rule” about not leaving someone alone in bondage.

All this makes BDSM sound excessively dangerous. But only if people do not give thought to what they are doing. Playing most sports is far more risky and injuries are much more likely to be serious. But at least the sharing of safety information and experience in sporting circles is easier. Raids on sports clubs and seizure of informative literature and videos is inherently less likely, and I still await the case of a rugby player being tackled, suffering a dislocated shoulder, and then being prosecuted for “aiding and abetting an assault on himself”.

 

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Stinging Nettles BDSM

Stinging Nettles – Perfect Plant for BDSM Play

Stinging Nettles are mostly tall herbaceous plants (i.e. they die down in the winter), botanically in the genus Urtica. The best known is the Common Stinging Nettle (Urtica dioica), which is widespread in Europe and North America. Nettles are notable for their stinging hairs, which may be more or less confined to the stems, or clothe much of the entire plant. The flowers are minute and usually green, held together in hanging tassels or bunches. The plants sting on contact and the hairs can penetrate light clothing.

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Pictures of Stinging nettles BDSM play by Shadow Slaves

Depending on individual opinion there are some 50 to 100 species of Stinging Nettle in the world. The Common Stinging Nettle (Urtica dioica) is the best known species in Europe and current opinion is that most native American nettles also belong to this species, though they differ in various ways from the European plant.

Related also are shrubs such as Urera in Africa, Laportea, of Africa and Australia, and the fearsome Stinging Trees (Dendrocnide) of Australia, S.E. Asia and the Pacific islands. The nettles are a worldwide group, nuisances to gardeners, foresters and unwary ramblers, painful components of African tribal initiation rites and, for us, a valuable contribution to our arsenal for consensual BDSM.

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How do they sting?

The hairs are like miniature hypodermic needles, approximately 2mm long in the Common Stinging Nettle. The walls of the hairs are composed of silica, i.e. natural glass, and contact breaks the fragile tip of the hair. The hair is sharp enough to push into the skin, while at the same time, the venom, stored under pressure in the expanded base, travels up the hair and is injected into the skin through the broken tip. Hairs tend to be grouped together so a stung person will develop a localised rash of small, raised bumps.

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Nettles in BDSM

Seriously, the point is rather laboured in this FAQ, but common sense does apply. Find out beforehand if the recipient knows if he/she has any unusual reaction. If he/she does not know, go carefully in the first session. Stay well within the recipient’s limits. Both top and bottom should be ready to stop the scene if there is any evidence of an unusual response. If there is no adverse reaction during or following a session, then subsequent sessions can be less inhibited, if so desired.

What is the value of nettles in BDSM?
Nettles can be used both in active and in passive play.

By active play I refer to the top actively using nettles as an instrument of erotic torment. Nettles are best used in a gentle stroking or dabbing action, which will cause those stinging hairs that come into contact with the recipient’s skin to work their effect, without damaging the remaining hairs. The number of hairs is, of course, finite, so a single stem will lose its effectiveness with use. Depending on the type and origin of the nettles (see earlier details), the top will want to ensure that the hairs on the stem as well as the leaves are used.
Taller stems can also be used as a gentle whip. The stems are tough and fibrous and will last for a while in this mode. They are light enough to be used with little inhibition, though the rough stem surfaces can cause very minor surface cuts and abrasions. Floggings with nettles in this way has a history of use for ‘inflaming the passions’ – there is some basis for this (see below). It is actually quite, um, exhilarating. The stings may be less effective when nettles are used in this mode, through the tips of the shoots may sting while “wrapping round” causing areas of greater inflammation along the sides of the body (an effect that may be either desired or avoided).
Doubled up, the stems have enough weight to start being effective on sensitive areas such as the testicles.

Leaves or pieces of nettle may also be inserted into the recipient’s clothing, though any effect will tend to be transient.

By passive play I refer to the useful fact that nettles can be effective by just being there. Once set up, no action is required from the top, it is up to the sub (recipient) to avoid the nettles.
For example, nettles can be used to limit the sub’s movement. Pots or vases of nettles can be so placed that the sub cannot move without being stung, perhaps as part of a conventional whipping scene, or simply to create a form of “bondage” without restraints. Nettles could, for example, be placed between a standing sub’s parted legs and just in front of the genitals and just behind the buttocks. Crueller scenarios might involve the sub not moving to avoid being stung more.

The tough stems of nettles can be strung together, so it is also possible to make a skirt or garland for the sub, one that would discourage unnecessary movement.

Other games might involve a blindfolded sub being required to carry out tasks, with vases of nettles forming part of an obstacle course. It should be obvious that any pots or containers used for such games should be shatterproof, and that water will cause neither danger nor damage if a vase is knocked over.

The assumption here is that the nettles are brought to the recipient. The alternative is possible. A woodland walk with a naked, blindfolded sub could be interesting. However, encounters could be a little surprising to early morning dog walkers or families out to enjoy the more conventional sights of the countryside, so to avoid court action and starring rôles in local newspapers, this is an idea perhaps better left to owners of private estates (who probably do this all the time anyway).

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How should the top handle nettles?
With care. Leather or heavy rubber gloves are recommended, even though there are few hairs at the base of the stem where the top is likely to be holding the plant. The hairs are sharp enough to penetrate cotton or thin latex gloves, which presumably means they can also penetrate condoms.

It is often said that someone can hold a stem with their bare hand without being stung if they grip it firmly enough, the theory being that the hairs are broken before they can penetrate the skin. As can be told from the fixed expressions on faces of people demonstrating this, it tends not to work.

I have found them disappointing. Why could that be?
The venom is held in the hairs under pressure, so that it can be injected into the skin when the tip of the hair is broken. If pressure (“turgor”) falls within the plant, the stinging hairs become less effective. Nettles should be as fresh as possible, or if picked sometime beforehand, should be kept in a vase of cold water. They start to lose their effect in a warm room or in contact with a warm body (so leaves pushed into undergarments may not work as well as expected). Remember also that the number of hairs on a plant is limited and each will only work once. The freshest nettle is one that is still growing (e.g. in a plant pot, kept well watered).

What parts of the body are suitable for “treatment”?
In principle, almost anywhere. Keep away from the face of course, but apart from that it depends on the sensitivity and tolerance of the recipient. The mucous membranes (e.g. tip of the penis, vaginal area, anus) are the most sensitive and are best avoided until it is known that the recipient will suffer no unwanted after effects.

 

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Classic Slavesex Films

Everyone who enjoyed BDSM back in the 1980s and 1990s probably remember the two big brands in sadomasochistic film making: Pain and Slavesex. Both were long series that started out as terribly low quality vhs films with amateurs filming in what was seemingly their private dungeons and homes.

From the early period a name like Anita Fuller probably still rings a bell with many. Anita Fuller starred in many a Slavesex bdsm film and often took the hardest of punishments whilst other releases were decidedly lighter

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Those with a historic mind probably remember the vidcaps from early Slavesex films above. Mostly German BDSM but the occational english or other language film were found in the Pain and Slavesex series.

Later on as the market for VHS was taken over by DVDs and the internet started coming to life, the Pain and Slavesex series started losing their market leader statuses. However, new releases still came out, the fame of the modern age went to new doms from renowned websites such as Hogtied, Insex and ShadowSlaves.com – with the prolific doms of those websites and their BDSM feature films being Peter, PD and Magick.

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You still occasionally run into a Slavesex dvd in your local porn shop or online, however they no longer define the genre – and indeed theyre no longer household names in BDSM circles. In that sense time has just outrun them I guess, but its still very much worthwhile digging up old editions of the classic vintage Slavesex films and Pain movies if you can find them. Theyre sometimes for sale cheap on vhs online, but otherwise it probably takes a kinky secondhand shop do dig them up.

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Slave Rules & Commands

Slave rules and commands can be used by individuals and couples to enhance and expand their SMBD experience. Remember these are just one persons list of rules, any and all of which can be modified or deleted to fit your own personal style of play.

SLAVE RULES

1. Slave will be nude at all times, except as maybe needed for medical reasons.

2. Slave bells will be worn at all times. The location of the bells is at the masters discretion.

3. Collars will be worn denoting ownership of all slaves. The master can design the collars to contain his identification symbol.

4. Morning Procedure:

A. Rise when stall/bedroom alarm sounds.
B. Bath – Hair – Exercise.
C. Make-up

5. Slaves will share housework to insure that the Master’s house is always clean, neat and tidy. Duties will be assigned by The Master.

6. The Master’s bedroom is for him alone. Permission to sleep there will be given by him.

7. Each slave, on her knees, will speak her status each morning to The Master or his representative. The Spoken word being “Master, I am your slave and your property. You are my Master and Owner, thus you may use or sell your property as you desire.”

8. Slave’s attitude will always, even in private, be one of respect toward The Master and reflect his pride of ownership. Your sale could result from failure.

9. Slaves will not handle funds, except as directed and approved by The Master.

10. All slaves will obtain ideal weight and shape as quickly as possible. Once perfection is achieved, a waist chain maybe welded on to ensure that they remain so.

11. By the wishes of The Master a slave may express a valid truthful reason for her non-fulfillment of a task. A Command prohibits excuses.

12. Whichever slave, if any, which sleeps with The Master will bring his morning coffee.

13. Slaves legs are never to be crossed. Always keep them slightly apart.

14. Each slave will learn these rules and the basic Commands so they can execute them immediately without instruction.

15. A slave will never directly look at a master. When approached slaves will kneel, spread her knees apart, lower her head, and rest her hands, palm up on each knee.

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COMMANDS

Although each master may establish preset commands for his slave or slaves there are certain commands that all slaves should learn. All commands include the ‘silence” Command. You can use these commands to help make your sessions at The Chateau more interesting. They can also be used to add a little “spice” to your next party, that is if you have an “exhibitionist” in the group who is willing to play a “game”. They can also be used at home, office, or wherever you wish to use them with a “consenting adult” and as previously stated are used by the staff of Scaife Island Resort.

SILENCE: Lower the eyes and remain silent.

PRESENT: Remain standing or kneeling. Face the person issuing the order, remove any clothing, and cross your wrists behind your back.

RESTRICT: Cross your wrists behind your back.

SERVICE: Observe the command “present” and give the person indicated by your master or your master oral service. (Note this command can not be used in The Chateau and is only recommended for couples who only have sexual relations with each other. in other gatherings the addition of “safe sex” is necessary)

REST: Sit on your heels, legs wide apart and rest your hands (palms up) on your legs.

SUBMIT: Sit on your heels and then move forward until your head touches the ground or floor. Place your arms over your head on the ground or floor with the palms up and wrists crossed.

EXPOSE or GOREAN SUBMIT: Sit on your heels and then bend backward resting your back on the ground or floor. Keep your legs wide apart and place your arms over your head on the or floor with the wrists crossed.

RESUME: Cancels any command previously given or any position assumed.