Tag Archives: subspace

BDSM Pain & Torture

Subspace – Has the submissive had enough?

Does reaching subspace mean the submissive has had enough?

OK yes, this is the attitude I’ve generally experienced, and IMHO why book/internet learning is never enough to indulge in heavy scenes – you can study anatomy and first aid and practice your whip skills on teddy bears for years, and still not be able to make a judgement call like that.


Photos from Shadow Slaves – BDSM Movies

But starting to think that maybe this attitude is a minority one that I’m seeing more because of how I play in the first place (and therefore who wants to play with me) rather than a common goal for submissive/masochistic types.

Maybe it’s a chicken and egg scenario.

By Magick of The Pain Files and Shadow Slaves

BDSM Pain & Torture

Subspace – End Of The S&M Play? Part 2

Is It boring if it always stops when subspace is reached?

Actually that’s a very good point. I have known a few girls who can start spacing with just the right words whispered in their ear, or by having their hair pulled. SM for them would be pretty limited if everything were to stop at that point.

Again – I do agree that playing into subspace isn’t always advisable with a casual or new partner, but as I said in the OP, this was a question relating specifically to deep long term M/s relationships.

Actually… it occurs to me that maybe the replies I was seeing were informed by the fact that the OP had to ask the question. Clearly, dealing with subspace is new to him… but I can’t help thinking that saying ‘that’s when you stop’ still might not be the best advice to learn how to use it in a long term deep relationship.


S&M Pictures provided by Shadow Slaves

I can’t help considering the simple fact that many girls have said that what they like about playing with me is specifically that I don’t stop if I can see they are not in genuine trouble or imminent danger, whether due to subspace, or tears, or begging etc., – and are fed up and tired of guys who do (stopping them from reaching the places they want to explore). So it would concern me that advice like this could actively be damaging if the sub comes away feeling unfulfilled.

On the other hand of course, there could be an element of my simply attracting girls who have that attitude due to the apparent severity of my published work etc. – I suppose I get just as many, if not more, that have the attitude ‘You seem like a nice guy, but ain’t gonna be letting you near me anytime soon’.

By Magick of Shadow Slaves

BDSM Bondage Pain & Torture

Subspace – A Female Perspective

Subspace – End of the BDSM play session? A female perspective by Andrea of The Pain Files & Shadow Slaves

Okies heres my 10 pence worth LOL, i space pretty easily depending on whats being done to me at the time, so yes if my Dominant stopped as soon as hit subsspace itd be all over in sometimes even as quick as 10 mins into play….

I like to play rough and yes sometimes a tad hard, which sends me straight into subspace, but i feel very content and safe in that anyways, im more than happy to be bought back out of it and sent back in it several times in a play IMHO, i think its gets intense the more spaced you are, well it ticks my boxes anyways LOL.

Saying that if your Dominant reads you well hell know when youve had enough, sometimes saying please stop and tears dont always mean the scene has to end, but spacing and tears are very very diffrent, luckily i have a Dominant who reads me and my reactions pretty damn well….

By Andrea of The Pain Files & Shadow Slaves

BDSM Pain & Torture

SubSpace – Red light to play?

I just read an interesting thread in a group. I prefer not to join in that discussion since the group is unrepresentative of my own lifestyle, and I joined to answer some very specific posts, so I wouldn’t want to interfere, or be disruptive of their views… but I did wonder what others here think about this in general terms.

I should add the thread related to play within a serious PE relationship, so we are not discussing casual or club play here.

The question was asked ‘what should I do when my sub enters subspace?’

The replies came back that you should cease play immediately, and move straight into aftercare, or give him/her space to come down.

Honestly, that’s a surprising opinion to me… but it was being voiced pretty much unanimously by submissive respondants, so who am I to argue?

What I can say however, is that most of the girls I have known and played with would be devastated if the scene ceased the moment they dropped into subspace.

Now I do realise the additional risks of playing on in an altered state of mind of course – and certainly a top/Dom needs to be able to recognise subspace, and be aware that he is no longer getting rational responses – so the onus and responsibility for safety and judgement falls much more upon him at that point. It’s also true that many people find it impossible to safeword in subspace.

So there are undoubtably risks involved.


BDSM photos by Shadow Slaves

However, for many submissive women I have known subspace is a goal, and something they specifically seek and enjoy during play, so to stop the moment it hit would be similar to a ruined orgasm.

I know what my experience has been, but clearly many others have a completely different experience, so I’m truly interested in the different opinions; not arguing one way or the other. My question is how do people see subspace, and how do they respond to it?

Responses from both the sub and Dom perspective are appreciated, but please from personal experience, rather than stuff you have read or think of as ‘rules’.


BDSM photos by Shadow Slaves

I’m posting this on my profile rather than in a group in the hope of getting a response from a subset of the scene which equates to ‘people who might look at my profile’ – The hope being I can avoid the ‘true path’ elders, trolls, ego warriors and antagonists, and keep the discussion seperate from any specific dynamic a group might be tied to.

By Magick of Shadow Slaves