Monthly Archives: April 2012

BDSM

BDSM in Fashion Trends

Until recently, the BDSM concept unifying such practices as bondage, discipline, submission, domination, sadism and masochism, has been viewed as something indecent or illegal. However, it is now considered that any person is free to choose what behavior to adopt in his or her own sexual practice and if this choice is Safe, Sane and Consensual, there is nothing wrong about it. Such liberation of minds has given green light for BDSM subculture and so today there exist many BDSM communities with numerous followers all over the world. Communities of this kind have their own style of life, principles, rules, media and fashion.

BDSM, though criticized by society is considered legal in most countries.  For the hundreds of years of its existence the BDSM culture has developed certain BDSM fashion trends that are now incorporated into the BDSM lifestyle. The BDSM fashion can vary among different communities including the gay and lesbian BDSM culture. Things commonly associated with the BDSM fashion plays are latex, rubber, spandex and fishnet. The most common being the leather style. Leather in BDSM fashion is a frequent theme of fetish photography. Items of clothing characterizing BDSM fashion are stiletto, boots, corsets and garters. Even edible items of clothing are available but are expensive. A special niche among BDSM fashion garment is taken by fashion accessories like collars, muzzles, cuffs, etc. These special fashion clothes not only create the specific atmosphere for the scene, but are also used for such BDSM practices as movement restriction, suspension, etc. Due to the increasing acceptance of BDSM, there are such dedicated fashion stores, libraries, movies and toys available in the market.

Representation of the BDSM emblem in clothing or accessories like rings and earrings is also a piece of BDSM artwork that can serve as a complementing detail to signal the affiliation with the BDSM subculture for those familiar with it. Another popular form of BDSM artwork is tattoo. Symbols like thorns, chains, spiny flowers can also witness to membership of their owners to some BDSM community.

Before going into BDSM, a few principles should be considered. The first one is common sense in BDSM. It is very important to observe basic safety rules, be responsible for your own behavior and be prepared for the consequences that BDSM practice may entail. In fact, BDSM can be really safe and satisfying or just as well dangerous and distressing if no due precautions are taken. The next concept to be viewed is negotiation. BDSM relationship requires absolute trust in your partner and to bring the pleasure it can bring BDSM character should be discussed. Agreement on safety words and taboos, share of needs, concerns and desires is sure to return in manifold. And the last thing is the awareness of freedom of choice. Whatever experts, movies or books say, it is a decision of one’s own, and it should be taken knowingly

BDSM

How to address other doms / masters ?

How to address other doms / masters ? How should a slave or submissive address a master or dominant that is not their own.

Well simply being polite and nice would be the first safe bet

That’s exactly right… if anyone other than your Master tells you you are doing it wrong they are being asshats


By Shadow Slaves BDSM Videos

 

Actually, further to my reply, obviously asking you not to use honorifics in the face of your usual instruction is a bit different… for instance if your Master tells you to call all male Doms ‘Sir’, then someone says they do not like it, it is of course good manners to respect that preference… the same does not go the other way though – if you are instructed to just be polite and another Dom says you should call him Sir or Master, just politely decline unless you want to and it’s cool with your Master.

 

BDSM

2 Doms / 1 Sub – Can It Work? (Follow Up)

Thank you for all the comments, mails and suggestions. Heres a few more thoughts on 2 Doms / 1 Sub – Can It Work?

A lot of people here assuming that two people will inevitably have conflicts and drama… that’s not been my experience TBH. As I said earlier, I think there does need to be a hierarchy of some kind, with one or the other authority figure having a veto, but if they trust each other and are on the same page that will only ever be necessary when there’s a lack of communication between them.

My situation isn’t quite the same as there is no ‘Master’ involved, and we are all more SM orientated than Ds, but either way I think it comes down to communication and trust – between the dominant parties as much as with the sub.


Master & 2 Submissives – By Shadow Slaves

I’ve had to use my veto maybe twice in five years, and neither time was a big deal, just a case of one of us not holding all the information at the time… I certainly don’t consider myself to be any more important than Hinc, it’s simply a structure to avoid confusion.

Interesting too that one Master considers it would mean neither of us are really dominant but are serving the sub – I don’t think I’ve ever been accused of being a service top before, but it did give me a chuckle LOL

BDSM

What Is BDSM ?

We have had requests to cover some of the basics of BDSM, S/M, S&M or whatever you wish to call it. Books have been written about these topics, so we highly recommend you venture onwards to libraries, experienced fetish practitioners and more online ressources to find more information … but what we can try and provide now and then are a few of basic pointers and ideas behind the concepts, in this case BDSM itself, as that seems to be the most popular request.

What is BDSM

BDSM stands for Bondage Discipline Saddism and Masochism. It describes a relationship between two consentual partners of a sexual nature. Some features of BDSM include restraint, fantasy role playing using the concepts of power struggle (dominance and submission) and intense sensory stimulation.

Typically, those taking the dominant role in the relationship are termed as the “tops” or “dominants”. Individuals who are on the receiving end of the activities are usually termed the “bottoms” or “submissives”. In some relationships, the roles are reversible. In these cases, individuals involved are known as “switches”.

In conventional romantic relationships, there is an ideal of equality between the two participants. As a result, in modern culture, people often use the words “top” or “bottom” to refer to people in relationships where there is a clear imbalance of power regardless of whether or not it is an actual BDSM relationship. For example: “In Tyrone and Mark’s relationship, Tyrone is the bottom.”

BDSM actions are typically performed during a given time agreed upon by both parties. These may be called “sessions”, a “play” or a “scene”. During this time sexual intercourse (oral, anal or vaginal) may be engaged in. However, this is not always the case. The defining fact or a session would be the actions that they engage in which they derive pleasure from although which are commonly considered undesirable such as humiliation, inflicting pain or being restrained. Again, these practices are performed between consenting adults in order to be considered BDSM. This distinguishes BDSM from domestic violence or sexual assault.

There are two parallel ideologies behind BDSM. One is SSC. The other is RACK. SSC stands for “Safe, sane and consensual”. In SSC, safe practices are established ahead of time. RACK stands for “Risk Aware Consensual Kink”. In this method, it is the responsibility of the parties involved to know when it is getting out of hand. Each party is thus responsible for his or her own well-being. The main focus of this type of practice would be consent. A “safe word” may be initiated to create boundaries. A “safe word” is a word that can be said when you feel that you are no longer within the bounds of your own comfort zone. Sometimes a written contract is used to establish consent.

The safe word also makes it possible for the bottom to withdraw his or her consent to the actions being engaged in. Withdrawl of consent by use of a safe word is all that is needed to turn this from a sexual consent situation into a serious crime depending on the relevant law.