Do I have a right to sexual dominance?
Wow, just followed a friend to a post, which (as an aside) stated ‘a dom using BDSM for sexual gain has no right being a Dom’… Now I know BDSM isn’t always about sex, but are we at the point where sex is seen as a bad thing?
Personally, when I perform acts that could be considered BDSM in a non-professional setting and without specificly non-sexual guidelines, I try to turn my partner on. In fact I still do even in a professional setting, though in that case I don’t expect the effort to be reciprocated. If said partner is not previously a sexual partner this can often lead to sexual ‘gains’ (although I don’t generally think about sex in terms of gaining/losing, and would hope they get at least as much from the situation as I do)
So it would seem at least one viewpoint (and the OP did say it was just her point of view) would consider I had no right to ‘be’ a ‘Dom’
To be fair I guess I never really refer to myself as a Dom anyway, except in professional situations or where it’s the most suitable tickbox, but quite a few others do refer to me that way, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with having my right to the title revoked purely because BDSM is usually sexual for me.
Is this a common view – has the community come to a place where people feel BDSM should never be seductive?
Photos by Shadow Slaves
I support the OP’s right to her opinion of course, and to be clear it was a journal entry and this point was not the focus of the post, but it always makes me wonder when someone’s opinion is that I should have less rights. Maybe the comment was out of context and intended to refer specifically to the situation she described, but I’d be interested to hear whether anyone shares this view.